Stupid Joke of the day!
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-=CoN=-Pyro |
Posted on 12-21-2008 10:24 AM
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Posts: 877
Joined: 11/24/2008 07:14 PM
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Three little pigs walked into a restaurant. When the waiter came to ask if they wanted anything to drink, the first pig said, "I'll have a sprite." The second ordered a coke, and the third pig said, "I want water -- lots and lots of water."
The waiter came back with their drinks and asked to take their order. The first pig ordered potato skins, the second pig ordered a salad, and the third pig ordered water -- lots and lots of water.
After they finished eating, the waiter asked if they wanted a desert. The first pig ordered a piece of apple pie, the second pig peach pie, and the third pig ordered water -- lots and lots of water.
When the waiter came to give them their bill, he asked the third pig why he kept ordering water, lots and lots of water.
The pig said, "Well someone has to go wee wee all the way home!" |
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{oToD}Dentures |
Posted on 12-22-2008 11:44 PM
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Posts: 340
Joined: 12/06/2008 11:46 PM
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lol, thats funny..
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-=CoN=-Jookie |
Posted on 12-23-2008 03:54 PM
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Posts: 309
Joined: 11/26/2008 01:09 PM
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Don't humor her. That was laaaaaaaame!!!!
-=CoN=-Pyro is on a Lamer Spree!!
Edited by -=CoN=-Jookie on 12-23-2008 03:54 PM
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HolyMan |
Posted on 12-26-2008 12:46 AM
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Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2008 12:30 AM
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classic |
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HolyMan |
Posted on 12-26-2008 12:52 AM
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Forum Rank
Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2008 12:30 AM
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I got one for ya...
so these two guys are in the mens loker room shower (no homo) but the one guy noticed that the other had a kork stuck up his but...
man 1: "Dude... why do you have a kork up your ass???"
man 2: Well, i was diggin a ditch in the yard the other day, and i found this shine bronze lamp. I rubbed it and a freakin Giene poofs out... he said "I thank you for releasing me from my prison, in return i shall grant you any wish you desire""...
man 1: " Whoa!!!! No shit!!!!
man 2: "yea, thats what i said"
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DeathDealer |
Posted on 01-02-2009 09:35 AM
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Posts: 2
Joined: 11/24/2008 10:49 PM
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that was funny HolyMan
LOL
btw welcome to the clan.
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HolyMan |
Posted on 01-02-2009 01:57 PM
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Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2008 12:30 AM
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Thanks DeathDealer, Happy to be here
-=CoN=-*HolyMan* |
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-=CoN=-Pyro |
Posted on 01-02-2009 08:50 PM
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Posts: 877
Joined: 11/24/2008 07:14 PM
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I don't know.....
I think it sounds a little Homo to me!!!
Just kidding
Keep them comming!!
Pyro |
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-=CoN=-BLSwagger |
Posted on 01-03-2009 02:39 AM
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Posts: 603
Joined: 11/24/2008 01:31 PM
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-=CoN=-Pyro wrote:
I don't know.....
I think it sounds a little Homo to me!!!
Keep them cumming!!
Pyro
Fixed it for you........and thats sounds very HOMO to me.
Swagg,
Edited by -=CoN=-BLSwagger on 01-04-2009 02:53 AM
The End of an Error: 1/20/2013
-=CoN=-BLSwagger
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-=CoN=-Pyro |
Posted on 01-03-2009 07:52 PM
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Forum Rank
Posts: 877
Joined: 11/24/2008 07:14 PM
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A blonde, brunette and red head escaped from jail. They were being chased by the police. They were running through the streets when they saw an old barn. So they ran in and found three heshin bags. They all jumped in.
The coppers walked in the barn and saw the three heshin bags.
One copper goes to the other "Kick the heshin bags to make sure nothing's in them"
So the copper walks up to the heshin bag with the brunette and kicked it.
The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the coppers thought it was a cat and walked to the next heshin bag.
The copper kicked the second heshin bag with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the coppers walked to the third heshin bag thinking a dog was in the second one.
The copper kicked the third heshin bag with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Potatoes".
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HolyMan |
Posted on 01-04-2009 12:11 AM
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Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2008 12:30 AM
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lol, havent heard that one in a while
miss you guys
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-=CoN=-BLSwagger |
Posted on 01-12-2009 12:14 PM
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Posts: 603
Joined: 11/24/2008 01:31 PM
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Talking Clock!
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off
his new apartment to a couple of his friends.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.
'Yup,' replied the drunk.
'How's it work?'
the friend asked, squinting at it.
'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet,
gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed,
'You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!'
Swagg,
The End of an Error: 1/20/2013
-=CoN=-BLSwagger
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{oToD}Dentures |
Posted on 02-10-2009 10:01 AM
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Posts: 340
Joined: 12/06/2008 11:46 PM
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IF BILL GATES WAS A REDNECK
1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a heftybag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Feebird!
8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart
9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Vishul C++
11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
12. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
13. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
14. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
15. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
16. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
17. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire...
18. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
19. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
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Dont Shoot.NL |
Posted on 02-23-2009 06:43 AM
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Posts: 39
Joined: 02/03/2009 03:48 PM
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot are
sitting in a bar. All of them order a pint of Guinness. Then suddenly three flies appear and each of them flies into the three pints of beer. So that each pint of Guinness has one fly.
The Englishman dislikes the idea of drinking it and moves the glass away saying: yuck, not for me.
The Scot uses two fingers to grab the fly at its wing out of the glass and starts to drink like nothing happened before.
The Irishman also uses two fingers to grab the fly at its wing, but then starts shouting at the fly saying:
SPIT IT OUT YA BASTARD!
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-=CoN=-BLSwagger |
Posted on 02-24-2009 12:07 PM
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Posts: 603
Joined: 11/24/2008 01:31 PM
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Now That's What I'm Talking About.......
Swagg,
The End of an Error: 1/20/2013
-=CoN=-BLSwagger
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HolyMan |
Posted on 02-25-2009 10:30 AM
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Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2008 12:30 AM
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lol, im irish. And thats exactly what I would have said. Either the fly would have spit it our, or I would have tried to fight it. |
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soulkeeper |
Posted on 03-11-2009 09:59 AM
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Posts: 9
Joined: 03/02/2009 08:25 AM
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A lion spots a monkey walking through the jungle. He grabs him by the neck and roars "Who's the king of the jungle?".
The frighten monkey says, "You are, of course, your majesty."
The lion does this to several other animals, with the same results. Then the lion goes up to an elephant, grabs him by the trunk and roars, "Who's the king of the jungle?"
The elephant picks the lion up with his trunk, bounces him a few times on the ground, grabs his tail, twirls the lion around over his head, and then lets him go flying into a mud puddle.
The lion looks up at the elephant and says, "Well, if you don't know the answer, just say so !"
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Dont Shoot.NL |
Posted on 04-21-2009 06:47 AM
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Posts: 39
Joined: 02/03/2009 03:48 PM
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What do American Beer and making love in a canoe have in common ???
They're both f*cking close to water
Show No F3ar You Got It
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soulkeeper |
Posted on 05-11-2009 10:00 AM
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Posts: 9
Joined: 03/02/2009 08:25 AM
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ok thats funny for a bit
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